Romance scams
Also known as:
- romance fraud
- dating scams
- catfishing
What is Risk ?
Digital risk factors associated with their interests and activities
Romance scams typically begin with someone reaching out to someone else online, usually on social media or dating sites. The person committing the fraud will often use a fake identity or account. Romance scams can rely on building a feeling of trust and romantic connection.
Romance scams can be a grooming process. This can go on for months or years. Someone committing a romance scam often uses unmoderated ways of communicating, like email or text.
At some point, the target will be asked for money. Requests might be emotionally manipulative, presenting an emergency or opportunity. For example, the person scamming might say that they want to visit the target but can’t afford a flight or that they need the money for medical bills.
Where this can happen
Risks and motivations
Risks
Financial harm
Someone who performs a successful romance scam can defraud large sums of money from their target. If scammed, a child or young person might not be possible to recover the funds they have lost.
Emotional harm
A young person who has experienced a romance scam can be impacted emotionally. It is important to remember that the targeted child or young person likely viewed the relationship as genuine.
They might experience:
- anxiety
- depression
- anger
- loneliness
- embarrassment or shame
- suicidal thoughts[
Threats
A young person experiencing a romance scam may be threatened if they refuse to send money. It could involve verbally abusive and threats to tell their family. It can also involve threats to leak private, sexual imagery. This is sometimes known as sextortion. Being threatened or extorted can leave someone feeling intimidated and anxious.
Money laundering
Romance scams can involve money laundering. For example, a criminal gang may have money that comes from illegal activity. They could target a young person and ask them to deposit this into their bank account. Once in, this money is transferred back to a criminal. This is sometimes called money muling.
Money laundering and money muling are illegal. This is the case even when someone involved is unaware of where the money has come from.
Breaking the law
Romance scams are a type of fraud. Like other financial scams, they are a criminal offence. If a young person is caught committing fraud, consequences can include a fine, criminal record or prison sentence.
Motivations
A young person might experience a romance scam if they are:
- looking for a romantic partner
- lonely or insecure
- impulsive or risk-taking
- unaware of the risks of romantic online relationships
A young person might be involved in a romance scam if they want to make money.
Young people’s voice
Romance scams is a one sided relationship built online where someone is lying to gain something. [Young people are at risk] because it's new to them and there's so many possible problems such as someone pretending to be somebody else. Adults should explain some indications that somebody is scamming such as a fake profile picture and let them know what could happen if they engage with these scammers.
Backpack Youth Advisor
Romance scams are people getting scammed in relationships via transactions. Young people might engage with this because they feel left out and struggle with face to face. [The risk to young people is] that they will get stuck in this relationship and won't be able to get out. Another risk is they won’t understand that they are stuck in the first place, but they will understand it when it becomes too late. Adults should educate young people on relationships and how some can be bad and educate them to know when it is getting bad.
Backpack Youth Advisor
What you can do
You may be working with a child or young person who you think is the target of a romance scam.
Talking with them about romance scams can help. You could discuss potential warning signs like:
- very quick declarations of love from a stranger
- someone asking to switch to less moderated platforms
- requests for money
- someone being unwilling to video chat or call on the phone
- emotional blackmail
- someone being inconsistent with their story or personal information
- asking not to talk about the relationship with friends or family
- images looking like they belong to another person after a reverse image search
Being able to spot these signs can help limit the chance of risks and harm. Remind them that this is not their fault and that romance scams have impacted many other people.
If they have lost any money due to a romance scam you may need to help them make a report to the police. You should also help them contact their bank or building society to see whether lost funds are retrievable.
You may also be working with a child or young person who has been involved in a romance scam. You might choose to discuss:
- their motivations
- the impact it can have on others
- the legal consequences of fraud
If you are unsure about whether a young person’s behaviour is illegal, always seek legal advice.
If you think that a young person is at risk, follow your safeguarding procedure and [read our safeguarding guidance.- internal link].
Support
A young person’s recovery process will depend on the type of harm they have experienced.
When young people lose money to romance scams, contact organisations that can help with debt, financial worries or retrieving lost funds, like Citizens Advice.
A young person may also feel worried or scared if they have been threatened or blackmailed. Reporting this to the police can help them feel more secure, and may be able to stop the behaviours happening.
Specialist organisations can also provide emotional support to a young person.
- Romance scams - a practical support guide (Thames Valley Police) – File
- Banking – security and fraud (Citizens Advice) – Website
- Get emotional support if you’ve been scammed (Citizens Advice) – Website
- Collecting information about your debts (Citizens Advice) – Website
- Police 101 (UK Police) – Website
Read more about romance scams
- Psychological characteristics of romance scam victims (Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking) – Journal
- Online romance scams: relational dynamics and psychological characteristics of the victims and scammers (National Library of Medicine) – Journal
- Romance scams: romantic imagery and transcranial direct current stimulation (Frontiers in Psychiatry) – Journal
- Online scams and fraud research (Ofcom) – File
Share your experience of romance scams
You can tell us about:
- other terms you might have heard
- conversations you’ve had with young people
- a related platform or app
- another related risk or harm